Memorial Day - May 29, 1995 - Felix Sibayan

Let me digress from my topic and write something about Memorial Day.  I am thinking about my not half-, but full-brother, Felix, who died in the Capas Concentration Camp in May 1942.  He was born May 18, 1920.  He was single.

When I went to Manila in 1993 to attend my son Tony's promotion to Commodore, I visited Elix's grave in Ft. Bonifacio.  On the cross marking his grave was a name Benigno Aquino.

I guess I am the only one thinking of him today, although our step-mother, Anicia Sibayan, second wife of father, is receiving a pension as Elix's beneficiary since 1946 because we were both minors when father married her in 1933, one year after mother's death.

If Elix were alive, he would be 75 years old now.  W would not know what career he could have taken, but like me, I know he would now be a PENSIONADO.  That was our ambition when we were small kids.  We were going together to the slaughterhouse to buy "lomolomo" for breakfast and I asked him what he would like to be.  I gave examples as: lawyer, doctor, engineer, teacher, etc.  We both agreed to become PENSIONADO.  Why?

Because at the end of the month our neighbor Mr. Guesson would pass by and father would tell him: "Naimbag kapay giem ta agawawatika ti cuarta nga saan nga ag tartarbayo." (You are very fortunate my friend because you are receiving money without working.)  I asked father why, and he said because he is a "pensionado."

We thought that "pensionado" was a profession!  Hence we decided to become a PENSIONADO!

I helped him enter the service as a private before the war in the Ordnance Service.  He died as a Corporal, a survivor of the Bataan Death March, as a POW.

We saw each other in Bataan twice, first when he came to my office in the G-2 Section Hq 29 Regular Division (PC) USAFFE near Bauto Pt., across Corregidor.  There I gave him food to eat because he was very tired and hungry coming from the front lines.

He promised to come back with a springfield rifle to be our souvenier when we go back to Manila.  When he came back with the rifle and it's bayonet, he was quite thin, buty with his spirits because of the news about a "one-mile convoy" headed for the Philippines from America to liberate us.

I fed him again with crackers and condensed milk, which he liked very much.  I even gave him some dried carabao's meat and sugar to take back to the front lines.  That was our last meeting.

After our surrender in April 9 1942, I met his boss, Col. Hugo Cunanan, near Corregidor Island and I asked for my brother.  He said, "They are behind, following us."  I delayed my trip to Monvieles trying to look for Elix.  Col. Cunanan was with several officers then.  He left his men behind.  (I found out after the war that they boarded a boat to cross Manila Bay, but they were straffed by Japanese planes.)

I failed to see Elix in the Death March or when we were going down Little Baguio.  I could have escaped by riding a banca on Hagonoy River to Bulacan if not for Elix's sake.

Darkest Christmas Night

Instead of Christmas carol, the radio was blaring with martial music, making the war jitters more intense. We hardly slept that night planning what to do after I left for Bataan. I promised Pat that I will go back for her as soon as I find a lodging place and get settled in our new Headquarters, not being aware of the fact that we were headed for the jungles of Bataan where there were no homes but forest trees!

In the city not a single flicker of light was noticed. There was "total blackout" despite the fact that it was Christmas eve. That was the darkest night during Christmas in my life. It also started the Darkest part of Philippine History.

One evening before my departure, I arrived in Kamuning without any light. All the newly built Project homes were alike, like "cats that look alike in the dark."

I entered the house and grouped my way to the bedroom. then I was surprised to hear the voice of my neighbor's wife saying "naimbagman ta immayka." (How nice of you to come) She was Sgt. Juan Aquias's wife that was inside the mosquito net. I was surprised!

Without any word I retreated speedily and then told the story to Pat. That was the first time we started laughing. I found out later that Pat told Manang Isid that it was I who groped into her bed. She was very much relieved after that. She thought it was a ghost or someone else.

Our parting was like a movie drama. With martial music as a background, and Pat sobbing uncontrollably, and not allowing me to leave her; I assured her that I'll be back for her. We parted after intense kisses. My face was wet with tears.

Her mother and sister assured me that they will look after her and that they will pray for me.

As I turned the curb towards the bus stop, I waved back to Pat. That was the last time we saw each other on Dec 25. 1941 until I was released as a sick POW on August 4, 1942 in Manila.

World War II Broke Out

Pat's mother and her older sister, Aning, with her two children Rudy & Ruth spent their weekend with us from their apartment in Rizal Avenue, Manila.

I left them for my work on Monday morning of December 8, 1941 not knowing that Pearl Harbor had been attacked by the Japs.

Upon arrival in the Army Hq., the news about the surprise Jap attack surprised all of us and so I went to the PX, bought a sack of rice, sugar, salt, and lots of canned foods, took them by bus to Kamining and confirmed the war news to Pat and her family.

While with them the air-raid alarm sounded and planes appeared overhead.

I saw and heard Pat's mother telling her daughters in a shaking, trembling voice not to fear.

There being no air-raid shelter, I started digging a dug-out under our house. It was solid rock and so I had to chip bit by bit until we can squeeze inside because our chalet house was built very low with only four steps on the stairway.

It was getting harder to go home from Manila to Q.C. (Quezon City) as all buses and jeeps were scarce and the few were fully loaded.

Capt. Jose B. Reyes, Sec. Gen. Staff and I were the only two military personnel in the office. It was red alert and nobody could go outside of the Headquarters.

Baguio was bombed, Clark Air Base was bombed, Sangley Point was bombed, and I actually saw a bomb dropped on the front of the walled city but it did not explode.

I could see the U.S. Army anti-aircraft guns in the sunken gardens firing but the shells were exploding way below the Jap planes that were between 18,000 to 20,000 feet overhead.

After bombing Sangley Point, the Jap planes strafed Manila. Machine guns were mounted on top of our Hq. but they were ineffective against the strafing fast-flying Zero Jap planes.

Anticipating the next plane target will be the Hq. Phil. Army, we evacuated to the Far Eastern Univ. Bldg in Espana St, Manila. That was closer to Q.C. and I was able to ride a bus now and then to see Pat at night time.

Then came Christmas, the date that was set for our evacuation to Bataan. Before that date Pat and I went shopping in Manila. People were on a Pre-Christmas shopping spree such that the sidewalks were filled with pedestrians.

Suddenly two unidentified planes dove towards the center of the city where most of the shoppers, including us, were concentrated. Pandemonium broke loose as the people panicked and ran like scared chickens seeking cover elsewhere.

Pat and I walked to the fire station for a ride but all vehicles were loaded to the top and some were clinging on the sides. It was very hard for Pat to squeeze in with her bulging 6-month pregnant stomach, but somehow we made it for the last trip. PTL!

The planes ended up being American planes, but the air-raid siren was sounded by mistake.

Hello Again

It's been 10 months since I've posted, but life has a way of getting in the way of our most cherished projects. I'm even busier than ever nowadays, but these stories need to get out and no one else is going to do them except me.

So I'm starting again and that picture up there is why. That's my mom and my lolo and my youngest son Tristan. Tristan needs to know about his great-grandfather and reading this blog sometime in the future is probably going to be the only way he'll know him.

Tristan and Branden. This is for you.

Nanay Part 4

One day upon arriving home, I found three young men talking with my mother. I soon learned that they wanted to board with us. My mother accepted them because they were all employed and had better chances of being good payers. She told them to come back three days later as we had to look for a new place so they could be accommodated. The place we saw was in Mayhalique, next door to where Manang Taliang and her family lived. It was a two-story affair and we occupied the downstairs past while the boarders occupied the upstairs. Manong Itong came to live with us and later also Autas, both cousins of mine. Elix, Siniong's brother also came to live with us and I was glad because he had such a jolly nature and his lightheartedness was contaminating.

November that year was a very busy one for us in school. We had to edit. We solicited contributions from the student body and their response was tremendous. But most of them were not good material and much as I hated to disappoint those budding writers, their manuscripts inevitably were-wastebasketed. Most submitted write-ups were poems and stories about love and very reminiscent of young lovers. I had a capable helper in the Associated-Editor, Mariano Familara, Jr. a senior. In the others I did not expect so much. I had two columns to takle alone, the editorial and a column we named "Junior Profile". The first instructor I interviewed for my Juniors Profile was Mrs. Dodson, I also had a short story in the Literary Section which I titled "Appearances are Deceiving." Our maiden issue was a hit. It was good reading material.

Aside from these undertakings we also had several dances scheduled. One was held on the 17th the date i well remembered because it turned out to be the turning point of my life. Everybody in the house knew about our social affair and Vestre had volunteered to be my escort. I thanked him but I just could not imagine myself going out with him. Siniong and I attended that dance and like the first time, we could not stay long because the place was so crowded. He suggested that we go again to the "Selecta". As usual, I ordered ice cream and chicken sandwich which is my favorite. We stayed about an hour and talked about a lot of things but especially my life in school and how i was liking it. He was very glad about my good showings.

When we finally left the "Selecta" Siniong hailed a cruising taxicab on Azcarrafa and told the cabman to dive to the Luneta. I was surprised and tried to protest but he assured me that we won't stay long. I trusted him so much and settled myself on the far corner of the cab.

Sitting side by side on the cement embarkment, I was feeling uneasy. Siniong was his casual conversational self but I sometimes found myself asking myself why i was out with this man at this hour of night, it was almost midnight, at the Luneta. It was there that he finally brought out the matter which I dreaded most. He took hold of my left hand and asked me why I hadn't given him a clear answer. I could not say anything, even if I had anything to say, I could not possibly say it. He must have understood because he kept silent. We got up and walked, passed the Manila Hotel and the Municipal Golf Links. He had my left hand in a grasp I could not extricate as he went on telling me how he loved me, how dear I've grown to be to him. All the while I was silent, what can a girl say in a moment like this?

We were able to flag down a taxicab only as we were nearing the Legislative Building. I was thankful because we would reach home quicker. I kept to my corner of the seat and stared out of the window. All of a sudden he had me in his arms and gave my left cheek a resounding kiss as he told me hoe he loved me. When he finally let me go, i was so confused and ashamed. It was strange that I was not angry, that I didn't rave and rant at his misbehavior. I just felt humiliated and cheap. I didn't say anything, nothing at all. I just wiped my tears away. He didn't ask me to forgive him either; he only reiterated that he had the best of intentions.

I didn't sleep that night. Just as I would fall off to dowsiness, the thought of that kiss would again jolt me to wakefulness. What was I to do? I kept asking myself why I didn't slap him and why I was not angry. I found only one answer - - that I was beginning to fall in love. The realization came as a surprise even to me. The next day I had to write him. In my own inexperienced way, I told him how I felt.

The following days I lived on clouds. The evening after Siniong got my letter, he came home. I was even more sure then that I had learned to love him. His arrival was enough to send my heart perform a somersault. It was not easy for me to hide my feelings from my mother and sister but if they noticed anything at all, they kept it to themselves. The following day I found his letter waiting for me in school. It was froth with endearments and farther assurances of his good intentions with his love.

1939- How Pat & I Fell In Love

Editor's Note: I got a copy of my grandfather's diary from my aunt. (Thanks Tita Bing!) He wrote it in the mid-90's while he was doing security guard work around Tampa Bay and it's full of daily anecdotes and even more stories than the memoir that I'm working on now. This one is 304 handwritten pages and my brain goes a little numb and my fingers want to hide at the thought of transcribing it.

There are some good entries in here, and I plan to dip into it now and then to mix things up on the blog. He has very detailed remembrances of WWII in here and I plan to tackle those once I'm done with the memoir. For now, here's his side of the story going on right now from "Nanay" my grandmother's memoir that my sister is dutifully working on now.

One day while visiting Pat and her mother in a Boarding House opened by them in Azcarraga near UE (University of the East), I asked if she has already enrolled in school. She said "not yet because mother has not yet sold her sewing machine." I asked for her report card. She just finished 2nd year H.S. in the Nueva Vizcaya Vocational H.S. and she intended to enroll in the National Univ. H.S. Dept. in Sampaloc, Manila.

To my great amazement, I never saw a card like that before, which was full of 90+ grades with no grade below 85%. Her general average was around 95%. Almost perfect! She said she was correcting themes written by 3rd year students under Miss Veragara, her English teacher. I was surprised!

I told her that I will pay for her initial enrollment fees because it was just a few days when enrollment will be closed. Her mother agreed. The only amount needed was 5 pesos ($2.50) and she got enrolled. We were both very happy.

At that time in 1939 my girlfriend was Martha. My other girlfriends: Elay, Edith, Tonie and Olive had all graduated as nurses. I could no longer visit them in their hospital schools as before and we stopped communicating with each other.

God knows that my only interest in helping Pat was because of her high grades and I said: SAYANG if her intelligence will not be exploited. I could foresee that she would make good in school and have a bright future. And she was very eager to go to school!

On the first week of her schooling she took an exam for the H.S. Newsletter Editor-In-Chief. She was the first one who submitted her theme to the amazement of the aspirants, but hers was declared the winner by Leon O. Ty, a very famous newspaper writer.

This made Pat very popular considering the fact that nearly all the contestants were fourth year students. Her picture was in the papers as Editor-In-Chief! Her mother was very proud of her and all their boarders celebrated her victory. She was given scholarship benefits as a H.S. student and at the same time as a Normal School (College equivalent) student to become a teacher.

Many boys tried to date her. One of their boarders was after her. She told me all about her problems. I realized she would be in trouble and unable to continue her studies if she fell in love with somebody.

In the beginning I pretended to fall in love with her so that she would not fall in love with someone else. I tried to protect her future. She responded to my letters and ultimately we became sweethearts. Her beautifully written "Story of My Life" can better tell what actually happened, except the fact that I was just pretending to court her. God knows! JBS

Martha was a H.S. graduate and more beautiful than Pat. Although not as intelligent I suppose because she never answered my letters, nor encouraged me beyond the flick of her eyelashes and smile on her lips!

There was a point when I could pretend no longer. I gave up Martha and went full speed for PAT! This proves that LOVE can really grow. My favorite song was:

Love in bloom
This is the past dear,
A spark then a flame
The moon was to blame
The world was all in tune-

This is the present,
The flame still aglow
My darling and so-
I blame the stars and the moon

This is the future, you at my side
A groom and a bride,
A home for more than two

My beloved one, this is the past
The present and the future
I'm only living just
For you-
JBS

Our bundle of love letters from 1939 to 1941 can better tell the full love story between Pat and me. I've given each of my children copies of those same love letters.

Neither Pat or I had any objection to anybody seeing seeing these letters which are in the Abra Provincial Library as a part of my five volumes of the story of my life entitled "Anak Ti Abra." The Librarian, Mr. Bianes said that many read those love letters.

Jose B Sibayan Documentary

I've been talking to my cousin Brandy and she's going to be working on the final cut of the documentary on our grandfather this weekend. She wants to bring it for the Barrio Fiesta next weekend and she wants it to be completely done.

It's been a long time coming and we're all very proud of her. We're coming together as a family to get the last bit of funding that she needs for the editor and to print DVDs. If anyone wants to donate to the effort, you can contact me here or Brandy here. I'll also have DVD copies for sale, as well as a trailer, up as soon as possible.